I Went to a Fucking Faith School

Obviously, I have to deal with the terminology first. I found that the term ‘faith school’ is most applicable in my case. Essentially what I had was like regular curriculum that you have in your local gymnasium (which is a term used in my country for comprehensive high school) + religious subjects. So, more workload and more bullshit than in your local gymnasium.

Why did I go to a faith school? Out of practical reasons, really.

I come from a small town with little opportunities and since this was a boarding school in the capital I had better chances of avoiding drugs and teen pregnancy (don’t mind me, I’m just failing to deliver sarcasm in a cool way). I’m still not quite sure if it was a good call or not, but I definitely can say it was meant to be a practical one.

Now what about all the religious stuff? Am I a shaman or a qualified bullshitter? No (although that sounds totally awesome). Unfortunately, I got no qualifications afterwards. The small print on my degree said, “Sorry, but you’re not even equipped to preach to people because we actually made you more of an atheist than you had been.” Jfyi, that’s partially true because you really can’t perform any religious ceremonies or something with a high school degree, there’re colleges for that — Christopher Hitchens would have been proud of all the cynical bastards graduating from those institutions.

The good thing about that school was the intense people experience. I lived with approximately 200 girls in one building. The whole class (25 of us) would sleep in one bedroom. We’d all eat together in one dining room (10 people at one huge, ancient table — there were 12 tables altogether). Bathrooms were the worst thing. Basically, you would have to get used to the lack of privacy (even when you pee — everyone outside the toilet cabin could hear and smell what you were doing). It was like in a third world country! Oh, wait…

I could write posts and posts about my time there (ha! sounds like I was in prison). I probably will. It was fucking traumatic. It’s not like I was abused or anything. It was just too intense. And I also got to know how hypocritical people could be. ESPECIALLY religious people (I won’t go into my beliefs right now, that’s a separate topic altogether). Out of all my professors and the staff, I probably remember only one or two of them with fondness. The rest of them were double-faced money-grabbing assholes. May they rot in their imaginary hell. Amen!

What’s kinda sad is that young girls and boys still decide to go there. Is it because of their religious allegiance or ignorance (or practical reasons?), I don’t know. Perhaps it’s redundant to say, but whenever one of those Bambies (I’m trying to say they’re innocent) asked me whether they should go to a religious school, I’d take my emergency O2 mask and twist my face into a I-just-saw-Sadako expression. No words were necessary after that.

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