You need that, right? A person or persons who’ll be there for you when the going gets tough etc., but also in those happy moments of your existence.
That totally makes sense. It’s just… People are complicated.
I have had one best friend since high school and, 3-4 other people with whom I was relatively close. I’ve always been afraid of commitment, I think, and the possibility of being hurt, that’s why it’s still difficult for me to open up to other people (but not you, faceless internet, I obviously trust you to keep my dirty secrets and half-formed opinions).
But I say ‘friendships‘, because, there are different kinds of friendship. There are people whom you see every now and then (say, once a year, on the street), who might have been in elementary or high school with you, or you met accidentally on some social gathering, or they may be a friend of a friend… You get the idea. You don’t share important information about yourself with those people. Those people are gossip material for you and your best friend(s). Then, there are your colleagues and co-workers, with whom you share your working space and working hours, but it’s entirely up to you whether you want to see their sorry faces after work or after class. They are more exciting, I think, because you might always pursue something further with them. They’re like wrapped candy — you never now whether you’ll like the taste until you give it a try (my similes are getting shabbier by the example). Additionally, they’re also gossip material for you and your best friend(s). And, finally, there are best friends. People you depend on. Who understand you and your terrible sense of humor. People who’ll take your side when necessary, but also kick your ass when you’re acting like an idiot.
But I say ‘people are complicated’. Which really means, I have poor social skills. I have also been in a phase when I felt shamelessly superior to other people. If I couldn’t get on with people, it was their fault — they didn’t get my artistic personality. I mean, let me be clear about something, I can still see when somebody else is being a wanker, but now I can also see when I’m behaving like one.