It’s not you, it’s me?

I don’t easily open up to people. It’s like I’ve created this thick mental wall between myself and the outside world. But it’s still relatively easy for someone to hurt me, it’s just that I won’t let it show. Bottling-up emotions has been my (ostensibly stupid) way of dealing with them. At one point I thought that I just simply wasn’t able to feel things; although, as I learned subsequently, that turned out to be entirely misleading. I felt so much that I subconsciously shut down. The world and people in it seemed distant and unimportant. It became easier and easier for me to disregard everything and just withdraw into the darkest whirlpools of my mind. I probably thought I was safe there.

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