Millennials: Are We the Worst?

There are plenty of articles, surveys and “analyses” given (mostly) by non-Millennials about the way people born between 1980 and 2000 are the chaos embodied: they are lazy, undisciplined, narcissistic and unrealistic.

But to me it seems these authors are too comfortable labeling an entire group of people as socially useless considering that middle-aged and old-aged assholes started some of the most destructive and enduring wars in the Middle East and Africa as well as the worst economic depression since the Great Depression of the last century, all of which had disastrous and long-standing consequences for entire populations around the world – including so-called Millennials. And need I remind you that no one has yet been held accountable for this?

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High School Legacies

High school was an intense experience for me. Now I know that’s because I am a hypersensitive person but I didn’t know this at the time when I was going through some of the most important changes in my life. I’ve always been a shy motherfucker with people I don’t know well and putting me in a completely new environment with terrible coping mechanisms could’ve ended much worse than it had.

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Anxieties Online

We may think we choose what we see and what we post on social media, but it seems to me that it’s somehow the other way around. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to propose that Facebook or Twitter or any any other social platform has a mind of their own or that their CEOs and owners have a sinister plan on how to mind-control all of humanity. However, I do believe we put a lot of effort into filtering and carefully editing our posts online; after all, our closest and remotest friends, acquaintances and strangers will be reading/seeing/rating this stuff. We are mindful of what others will say and how they’ll see us based on our online portrait(s).

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It’s not you, it’s me?

I don’t easily open up to people. It’s like I’ve created this thick mental wall between myself and the outside world. But it’s still relatively easy for someone to hurt me, it’s just that I won’t let it show. Bottling-up emotions has been my (ostensibly stupid) way of dealing with them. At one point I thought that I just simply wasn’t able to feel things; although, as I learned subsequently, that turned out to be entirely misleading. I felt so much that I subconsciously shut down. The world and people in it seemed distant and unimportant. It became easier and easier for me to disregard everything and just withdraw into the darkest whirlpools of my mind. I probably thought I was safe there.

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I Went to a Fucking Faith School

Obviously, I have to deal with the terminology first. I found that the term ‘faith school’ is most applicable in my case. Essentially what I had was like regular curriculum that you have in your local gymnasium (which is a term used in my country for comprehensive high school) + religious subjects. So, more workload and more bullshit than in your local gymnasium.

Why did I go to a faith school? Out of practical reasons, really.

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My country

My country is like a bowl of shit with a cherry on it. You may like the cherry, you may like the bowl even, but you can’t ignore the turd in between.

I love my country, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that the poor thing’s been through so much. We got out of a bloody war only two decades ago. Our economy was shattered and our population decimated. How do you start again after that? Well, that’s an easy one: you take loans from big banks.

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Handing in your papers

I need to hand in my final paper in a short while or I’ll have to repeat (read: repay) the year.

That’s, like, important, right? Of course it is. It’s just, I need time to focus and write the whole thing. I did my research, prepared my notes… but did nothing else. I really need to do this, but, instead, I want to watch “Weird Loners”. I think I’m just tired of this college bull. Too many years in school. Finding a decent paying job would be nice. But not some corporate-building-and-suits thing. I don’t know. I mean, I’m not talking about some kind of a dream job, I would just like something that makes me busy but doesn’t suffocate me, at the same time.

Am I making any sense at all?

God, I really have no idea what to do with my life.

I guess I’d like options and opportunities. I’m kinda working on it right now. Many of my college friends have part-time and some even full-time jobs, some of them do volunteer work — so it’s not impossible to find work. It’s not that I’m looking for full employment or whatever. I just want to do things that I know something about and that will pay me some money. That can’t be too difficult to find, right?